Stop Offshoring
Monday, December 08, 2003
Here's a poem about offshoring that I wrote, inspired by Edgar Allen Poe's The Raven.
Once upon a workday dreary, while I toiled, weak and weary,
Coding until I thought I could do so no more,
While I sat, nearly napping, and on my keyboard continually tapping,
I heard the familiar sound of rapping, the sound of knocking on my door.
'Twas my manager, I turned to find, knocking on my cubicle door,
Only him, and nothing more.
"I have news", he said, "to confirm the rumors in your head,
It will take but a moment and not a minute more."
He beckoned me to follow, and as we traversed the halls now hollow,
I found it hard to swallow, as we approached his office door,
For inside I saw a man dressed emaculately from head to floor,
The VP, I judged from what he wore.
The VP said to me, "You're just the fellow I wanted to see,
We can begin as soon as I close this office door.
The company is spending too much, and I'm here to cut such and such,
You may think I lack the human touch, but we will spend less to hire more.
In a week, I must terminate your team and show you all the door,
So we can move your functions to Bangalore."
My head immediately began to spin as the news slowly settled in,
Why had I not seen this misfortune coming before?
I thought my job was secure, what with everything our team endured,
To ensure our company's future, I didn't know if we could have done more.
"Where did you say our replacements will come from after you show us the door?"
Quoth the VP, "Bangalore."
I left the office in a daze, unbelieving we had bought into the craze,
The shortsighted thinking that considered only compensation and nothing more.
I sought out my fellow team mates, so that we could all commiserate,
There was nothing left but to wait, until the other shoe hit the floor.
The word kept ringing in my ears, leaving me empty to the core,
The VP's dreadful voice: "Bangalore."
The next day the VP sought me again, to reveal more of his dastardly plan.
"I must ask a big favor of you, even if you consider it a bore.
The team in India needs to know how to make all of our systems go.
My success rate with them was low because their English is poor,
And that's why I am asking you to transfer your knowledge store.
You must train your replacements in Bangalore."
I had no response to him, although a kick in the teeth was my whim,
I could not believe he had the nerve to ask what he implored.
To train those who would replace me would be the utter height of folly,
I had to make him see that he would get from me nothing more.
I managed a polite "No thanks" as I stormed across the floor --
I will NOT help Bangalore!
Then all of a sudden I snapped awake, and wondered if those memories were fake,
Was the whole ordeal a dream and nothing more?
I was still gainfully employed, but my nightmare had taken my joy.
Looking at my wife and boy, I knew what I must now strive for --
To warn others that offshore outsourcing is not a fad but much more.
Beware the threat of Bangalore!
Comments:
Post a Comment
